80’s Wedding

This summer my 10 year old and her best guy friend officially declared their undying love for each other. Well, she did…at which point he ran upstairs and hid under a table…certainly not an uncommon reaction in these types of situations.

While Dominic laid low, literally, Elizabeth detailed out for her future mother-in-law and me the type of wedding she wanted. Most importantly, it needed to be 80’s themed. In fact, she was ready to forgo a traditional wedding dress in favor of a jeans miniskirt. (During subsequent planning discussions, her best friend pleaded with her to go with a dress, but Elizabeth was not to be influenced.) 

She didn’t fully elaborate on what she would force the wedding party to wear, but I could see where this was going. Odds were everyone was going to end up with crimped hair, including the groom. I silently pleaded with Dominic to stay under the table…for the next 20 years.

When Elizabeth went to go find her man, Corinne decided this was a prime opportunity to get into the picture. This was, after all, the duty of every little sister. She sidled up to Dom’s mother and me and loudly whispered “This is bad but I like Dominic a little too.” The love triangle was on! This was definitely Shakespearean. As Corinne ran upstairs to help pull Dominic out from under the table, I wondered if it was too late to send the poor kid into the witness protection program. He needed a new identity and quickly. 

Once the kids were out of the room, Dom’s mom and I talked business. She pointed out that it was a good thing we had just sold our condo, since we would have to pay for the wedding. I agreed this would be good use of any remaining equity we could squeeze out of that dump. As the negotiation continued, I offered to hunt down the mystery animal next door for the dowry. Although there has been no confirmed sighting of the animal, from the bizarre squealing it makes, we suspect it is something from the boar/pig/hog family – definitely appropriate for a dowry. While I had always parked in the street when bringing the girls over to visit, Dom’s mom noted that I should feel free to start parking in the driveway. After all, we’re family now.